I don’t wear shorts. I either wear jeans or skirts in the summer. I don’t know why, I just hate shorts. In high school I’d buy shorts from the boy’s section of the store, but now that I’m in my mid-twenties that doesn’t seem like a viable option. I know they make longer shorts for women, and I always try them on, hopeful, but they never look good. My opposition to shorts can be a problem. Especially when it’s 107 degrees out.
I went to the Nat’s game last Friday, and it was somewhere upwards of 100 degrees. There was just no way I could wear jeans. And none of my skirts really go very well with a red Nat’s t-shirt. So, I dug deep, both psychologically and into my dresser. I pulled out the one pair of shorts I own. The pair I bought at Target because I thought this might be the year I start wearing shorts. It wasn’t. I would occasionally put them on, look in the mirror, and promptly change into a pair of jeans. I’d also like to add that this has nothing to do with body image. I just hate shorts.
But I decided this had to be done. So I bypassed the mirror and headed to the ballpark.
As my friend and I were walking in, a guy with a camera pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to be in the Fan of the Game Contest. I waffled, knowing that this would involve me making a fool of myself on the jumbo tron. But really, how can you say no?
They pre-tape the contest. So they choose three fans, have them act like an idiot in front of the camera for what feels like 4 hours (they cameraman kept saying “ten more seconds” ….. “ten more seconds” …. “ten more seconds”) Sometime after the third “ten more seconds” I stopped believing him that this was almost over. Then some producer chooses your best 5 seconds of embarrassing yourself, and they play it on the jumbo tron in the 6th inning. The crowd cheers for the fan they want to win. Sadly, I was beaten out by the guy who painted his entire torso white and then painted on a Nat’s jersey, complete with name and number on the back. In the end, he really committed more than I did.
I did provide a catalog of awkward dance moves. This one looks like some snaps with a head bob. I also busted out the “crazy white girl” (jump around in a circle while waving your arms over your head. A real classic) and the Liz Lemon “spinning a basketball on your finger” (as seen in the Dealbreakers episode of 30 Rock).
I also specifically asked if they were going to match me up against some cute kid so there was no way I’d win. He assured me they wouldn’t. They did. Luckily, I still got more applause than the little sucker. Yeah, take that, cute kid.
Anyway. The rest of the night was a lot less eventful. I devoured a plate of chili cheese fries faster than should be humanly possible. To atone, I went to the farmers market the next morning and bought tons of fruits and veggies. The sweet corn right now is out of this world. And the peaches are so juicy you don’t really eat them so much as drink them. And sun gold cherry tomatoes. Ah, the light of my life. They are so sweet when you roast them, it’s like candy.
So, hit your local farmers market and grab some this weekend. And then make this sandwich. You can sub out anything for the crab. Maybe tuna? That’s easier to come by. Salmon? Chicken? Or keep it veggie.
Crab and Roasted Cherry Tomato Sandwich